End of 2011 Hello 2012

Wow so sorry for the dramatic pause from Christmas Eve to today January 2nd of 2012. I know ! What the hell happened. Alot!... OK not really but it felt like alot!

Ok so I will play catchup. Christmas was good it was spent with my son, father and step mom. I did good with not dwelling on the large elephant in the room that my Mom was missing from it all. My son however would be the one to put things right out there for me. He gives me this little box and  inside it was  a gold heart with an angel inside it. Now he's four and says to me "see Mom it's Grammy and she's in your heart". Wow insert tears, he amazes me with his grasp of understanding and he just kicks ass! I am so proud to be his Mom. So my Christmas was great it was filled with love. There was a little drama but I'm saving that for another post about misunderstandings and things that make me growl.

So then the 30th of December came sneaking in like a ninja, if you don't understand the sour tone then I will state that this is my birthday. There's milestone birthdays that you look forward to 16, 18, 21,25 and 30. These have been the ones I have met so far. This one was my 34th birthday, an even one as my best friend would say, she prefers to be even numbers. 34 isn't bad I still kick ass, have some wisdom under my belt and can still hang with the big dogs. My three best girl friends  and my best guy friend took me out to one of the local bars. It was perfect got to hang out with great people that I love, drank a few beers did some shots, cabbed it both ways (Cabs are here! for the Jersey fans) and ended the evening wanting more. The only thing that I missed was I woke up the morning of my birthday to silence. For the last 33 years my Mom would wake me up either by coming in my room or a phone call to sing Today is your Birthday, which I think the Beatles may have sang, not sure. This year I didn't hear it and I missed it, she was definitely not a singer and as she sung you would be tickled or poked so at the time it was about 5 minutes of hell but now I'd give anything to have those 5 minutes. I did get a facebook post from my sister that made me tear up like I was in a room of sliced onions . It read "Happy Birthday, Kiddo! You continue to inspire me with your strength and spirit. Love you".  I inspire her, if she only knew how much she inspires me.
         Side note she and her husband blog about beer, I would suggest it as good informative reading, I'm not a beer drinker but I do follow their blogs, the name is Me and you and a blog named Brew. Clever name and a great blog! seriously go read it....Now!

So that brings us to New Years Eve or as I like to call it My Best Friend's Birthday ( I know how lucky is she). So the four of us rang in the New Year together with family and friends. It was great. throughout the night we were thinking of our best memory from 2011. My best would be a collection of all the times I realized that I have some of the greatest friends in the world  and that my 3 best friends are like sisters to me I love them to death and being friends with them is easy as it should be. As I sat there talking and laughing I couldn't think of anywhere else I would have wanted to be, well maybe one but I don't think he was available.

What will 2012 hold, I don't know. I do pray that I can continue to keep the memory of my Mom alive for my son. One of my greatest fears is that he will forget how she was. I've developed a mantra that I say to him at night "your Grammy loves you, she watches over you and she gives you kisses in your dreams". Fears for myself, I can say I honestly don't have any I'm hopeful for what 2012 will bring me. Maybe a handsome Italian that's over 6 foot, that would be nice, but we shall see.I can wait....some.  I know I can do a  year of no loss, as my one friend said the holidays get a tit hair more bearable every year after a loss. So true!

So welcome 2012, be good to my loved ones, my friends here and in Virginia and to me and we will do our parts to make 2012 great!